Preacher's Kid entry #4

Betsy Wingate - wife to Pastor Wingate

My happiest memory is the day Jacob was born.  He lit up the room and filled an empty space in my heart.
The saddest memory is when my mother died.  She had been my friend and my confidant.  When I was feeling stressed in my marriage she could help me see things clearly.  Now I have no one.  At times I feel so alone.  I know Jacob sees this and tries to help but that usually gets him in trouble with his father.

One thing I don't want anyone to know is that at times I actually fear my husband.  He's never hit me.  Verbally at times he is awful and I sometimes fear he will go too far when disciplining Jacob.

The best part of my personality is my ability to be a peace maker.  Except in my own home.  However this is also a disability as I often get walked on by others.

I'm not very mechanically inclined.  I can't make simple repairs around the house.  This is good because Dan doesn't want me to do anything like that.  He sees it as a "mans" job and is afraid of what his congregation will say if they find out I fixed something instead of him.

For someone who is 38 I think they would say I look young and stylish, well fit.  Part of this is because my husband expects me to be that way.  He constantly complains if I have a wrinkle in my clothes or gain a couple of pounds.

The only thing that really bugs me is that everyone comes before Jacob and myself.  I believe in serving God, but I don't think that means putting everyone elses family before ours.

I am afraid of being alone.  I'm afraid of losing my son and at times, I'm afraid of my husband.

I am proud of my house.  You could say it looks like something out of one of those women's magazines.  It is simple, neat and clean.  Danile let me decorate it so I did it in blues and yellows to brighten up the white walls.  My furniture is simple and functional.  Nothing fancy because Daniel doesn't want people to get the wrong idea.  Our living room has a couch and three chairs and a coffee table with a wall of book shelves that are full of books.  There is no T.V. in that room.  Daniel wants us to read.d We do have a T.V. in the den.  The den has a small loveseat and two small chairs with a 19" TV.  I think he got a small one to discourage watching it.  Our bedrooms are small and functional with a bed, dresser and a chair for laying clothes out on.  Jacobs room has no posters or anything.  His father discourages it saying it is placing people in the position of idols.  I think that is why he doesn't bring anyone home.

When I look in the mirror I see someone who feels trapped in a marriage that could be so good but has gone so wrong.  I'm not saying I want out, I want it fixed.

The most embarrassing thing to ever happen to me was learning my husband yanked Jacob away from his friends and verbally lashed him because he'd been with a group of kids who'd stolen cigarettes.  Someone told Danile that Jacob had done it.  Daniel denied it, the other boys stood up for him and took the blame for all of it and it didn't matter.  In Daniel's eyes, Jacob had been accused by a member of the church and guilty or not he was guilty by association, end of story.

I think I would like to live in the country with a wrap around porch way out away from the church  I would want to decorate it the way I wanted with no one to judge me.  I'd have a Persian cat for a pet because I love cats.  The only thing that I would want more than anything else in the world, would be a happy family life where Jacob and I feel like we fit in and are welcome.  Right now we feel like we are eye candy for the preacher.

Preachers Kid Entry #3

Reverend Daniel Wingate – Pastor of Covenant Community Church

My happiest memory is having my wife bring our son home from the hospital.  I felt like God was blessing me for my faithfulness.

My saddest memory is when Bob Wilson passed away.  He was my friend and mentor when I was coming up in the ministry.  His was an unnecessary death caused by a rebellious kid out joyriding one night.

I really don’t want people to know I’m a control freak, especially when it comes to my family.  I’ve never hit my wife yet I know I border on being verbally abusive at times and sometimes almost physically abusive to my son.  If they would just do what they are supposed to do in God’s eyes I wouldn’t have to be this way with them.  I know at times I am very judgemental, jumping to conclusions.  I have to protect the ministry.    I pray about this flaw in my character all the time.

The best part of my personality is my likeability.  I’m easy going, friendly and people seem to really like me.  I’m the genuine article when it comes to my faith and people know this.  This is very important in my line of work.

I’m extremely good at speaking.  What most people don’t know is that I’m good at fixing cars and not to bad at doing fix-me-up things around the house.  Since the house is owned by the church it is their job to keep things fixed for me and I don’t want to step on their toes.

If my best friend had to describe me, that would be my wife.  She would probably describe me as a 40 year old with a trim and fit build.  After all my body is God’s temple.  I’m about 5’10” tall with wavy brown hair and hazel eyes.  My skins is real white since I don’t get out in the sun.  Not even here in Florida.  I have too many things to do for God to be frivolous and play in the sun.

Something that really bugs me is telling my son to do something more than once.  It also bugs me when his mom sticks up for him when I correct him.  It is so bad it is almost as if she is babying him.

I couldn’t really describe our house.  I don’t spend much time there.  I do spend a lot of time in my office at the church.  I am a very organized person.  I have my own office furniture that was passed down from my grandfather, who was a preacher.  My desk is made of mahogany.  I have my pictures of my family on the upper right hand side of my desk.  In the other corner I have a try for business I need to take care of regarding church finances, etc.  I have a note pad to the left of my family pictures to write down prayer requests and the phone sits to the left of it.  In the center of my desk Is my notepad, Bible and reference books for working on my sermons.  All office supplies are kept neatly in my desk.  Behind my desk is a bookcase full of books I loan out, read or give away.  To the left of my desk is a seating area with a couch and four easy chairs for discussions or counseling sessions.    My office is very neat, organized and efficient.

When I look in a mirror I see a man of God.  I’m ordinary in every way but called to do his bidding, whatever it may be and whatever the costs.

The most embarrassing thing that happened to me was when a member of my church came to tell me he had heard that my son and a couple of his friends had stolen a pack of cigarettes from the local convenience store and got caught smoking them.  His friends said he had nothing to do with the theft and he wasn’t smoking.  Like I told him he was guilty by association.  He yelled back that Jesus was always in the presence of sinners did that make him guilty by association?  I was so embarrassed that my church member had to see this.  He knew right away I didn’t have control of my family.  How could I expect them to trust me with the church if I couldn’t handle my own family?

I love my family and want them to be happy.  I could not describe the perfect house.  It doesn’t matter if my family and I live in a shack down here on earth.  All that matters is that I am doing what God wants and he is building me a mansion in heaven.  That is why I don’t have a pet.  We don’t need one.  When we get to heaven we can play with the animals up there.

The only talent I would want is the ability to lead everyone to Christ.

The one thing I really want is for my family and I to go to heaven.  I’d give up everything I have including my family if that is what it took.  I want to be like Job in my faithfulness no matter what it costs.