Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Preacher's Kid entry #8

Rosa Bonita - Mother of Frankie and Tanya, wife to Jose

The happiest memory I have is when both of my children were born.  They filled a void in my life.
My saddest memory was when Jose found out Frankie had been suspended.  He went ballistic.  He wouldn't let anyone explain.  he knew what he'd been told and he didn't need to hear Frankie's side.  After all Frankie was just a teen.

I don't want anyone to find out that my family is falling apart.

I'm a likable person.  I'm helpful but the thing that stands out is the way I listen to anyone who needs an ear.  I just don't seem to be good at being a peacemaker in my own family.  I'm not good at organizing things.  Come to think of it, according to my husband the only things I seem to be good at is keeping the house clean and putting a decent meal on the table.

My best friend would say I look young for my age.  I'm well dressed with just the slightest touch of gray framing my face.  My figure has always been trim.  I don't think I look like I'm 37 years old.

The thing that really bugs me is how my husband won't let anyone tell their side.  Once he sets his mind to something being the truth you can't change his mind.  For this reason I'm afraid my husband and son have gone beyond repairing their relationship.

When I look in the mirror I see someone who wants more security and understanding in the lives of her family.  I see someone who feels helpless to save her family as it is slowly sinking out of sight.

The most embarrassing thing was hearing the ladies of the church talk about Frankie's suspension.  It was so embarrassing because they had gotten their information from Jose.  They pitied me for my "problem child".  Jose had explained the problems we had been having with Frankie.  None of them asked my opinion or my side or my feelings.  It was decided that what my husband said was gospel so no need to question it.

One thing I want more than anything in the world is for my husband to stop being so judgemental about Frankie and to see who he is before it is too late.  I want him to take a good look at our marriage and see how we are no longer a couple we are just two people who live under his rule and his decisions.

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